If you asked me what it was like being a nurse, I'd tell you it’s like being a waitress, a drug dealer, a housekeeper and a mother all wrapped up in a highly educated package. You constantly get bombarded with questions from patients, physicians, family members, other nurses and every other kind of ancillary staff present in a hospital. You take people food and beverages when they're allowed, explain to them why you can't when the doctor wants to keep them from eating or drinking, and hope that you can find something more than graham crackers and juice for the people who "haven't eaten anything in three days" because they've had a stomach bug with lots of nausea and vomiting. (Then you hope like hell they don't throw it all back up... because you're the one who's going to have to clean it up.)
You get to give some people some really good drugs. Not just narcotics or other pain medications, but when you think about it... things like Tylenol, Motrin, nausea medications and other non-narcotics are pretty awesome. Most people don't think so because somewhere along the way, someone decided that the stuff you can get over-the-counter just isn't as good as something you could only get in a hospital. Don't get me wrong, there are some really really good drugs you can only get in a hospital, but when you think about all the benefits of two Tylenol to someone with a fever it’s pretty awesome in the whole scheme of things.
I spend a lot of time writing as a nurse. I would imagine it’s the same just about anywhere because the mantra pounded into your head as a hospital nurse is "if you didn't document it, you didn't do it". Totally understandable, I mean, I wouldn't want to be in a courtroom trying to prove that I did something in a 'my word - vs. - someone else' and not have it written down. I guess the flip-side of it all is, realistically, I could write down that I did something when in fact I really didn't do it... I would never do that of course, but just sayin' its plausible. In my opinion, too much emphasis is placed on what exactly I'm documenting and not documenting.
I also spend a lot of time cleaning. I can't even count how many times I wash my hands during a typical shift. Aside from that, making beds, cleaning rooms, picking up linens, supplies, and small messes left by others. Nurses are notoriously messy from my experience. Sure, you occasionally find one who's very meticulous in making sure everything gets to the garbage can in a timely manner, but I can show you a very neat person who will drop items on a patient's bed or on the floor when you're distracted with more important things…
Some days I really love my job, other days I think of all the other things I could be doing for the paycheck. I mean, who wouldn’t think about doing other things when you have your hand somewhere very private trying to put a catheter in someone who hasn’t washed that area very well in a long time. Blech! Now, imagine that the person hasn’t washed because they weigh almost 700 pounds and you have to have 3 people help you even find the right area to put the catheter…. Yeah, seriously really happened and all you can do is ‘poke and hope’ and repeat over and over “I love my job. I love my job” ad nauseum until you find another task that hopefully gets your mind off what you just had to do…
What amazes me are the crazy things people will do to themselves. Sure, you hear stories about people putting things in or around their genitals…. Thinking to yourself the entire time, there is no way that is true… and then you get the pleasure somewhere in your nursing career where you meet someone who has done something similar or worse than the stories you’ve heard from other people. Deep sea fishing bobber that had to be removed surgically, homemade cock-ring that the nurse had to borrow the bolt cutters from the maintenance department to finally remove, people who swallow nails… and I don’t mean little ones you’d hang a cheap poster with, but three inch construction nails…. People who swallow double edges razor blades… all have been patients in the ER where I work. Seriously… like I have seen the xrays personally. People are crazy.
That’s probably not the politically correct term, but I’m sure just about every ER nurse who works in a metropolitan area can attest to the fact that some people are just crazy. Mentally disturbed, whatever. Again, some of those who can either make your shift supremely entertaining or one you swear will never end because you know you’re in your own little personal version of hell.
Other nights, it’s smooth sailing. No psych patients, no pediatric patients… just run of the mill abdominal pain, chest pain, minor trauma, or ‘out of my prescription’ patients. Those nights are the hardest to remember, but man… when you can have a good idea what they’re going to require during their stay, so you can shorten their length of stay in the ER and continuously flip your rooms… the shifts go so fast! Always know when the time flies, cause my charting is never caught up and I’m digging through napkins in my pockets trying to find the little notes I’ve made to keep track of what happened so I can chart it later.
It’s funny, I always tell my new nursing students that I hope they learn a lot while they’re with me, but if they take any lesson from me… learn to chart real-time, because when you get behind… it’s hard to catch up! Your rooms stay full… you do so many things you have to make notes or at least write something somewhere so you’ll remember later on… and when the pace never slows… you are discharging patients and then documenting two or three hours later. Some nights, I seem to be able to keep up; other nights I can’t even imagine how atrocious my handwriting gets cause I’m half scribbling just trying to get it all down before I have to start a new chart on another patient.
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